is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
