We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
