Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
