Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
