Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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