the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
