I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize