Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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