I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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