a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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