I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
