just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
