I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
