I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
