her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
no, he came in my armpit
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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