My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
