dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
