How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Still dying that you shit outside
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
