peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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