So drunk its hurt
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
