i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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