found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
