my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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