My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
