I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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