the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
