fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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