remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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