I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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