people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize