Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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