dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
