I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
