I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
