Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
