just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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