I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
she looked like the before picture.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
