I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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