Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
