Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
im six kinds of drunk right now
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
