When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
