She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
