You really coming over, don't trick.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
