shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
