dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
