I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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