i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
