Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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