I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
love makes seman taste better
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
