If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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