Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
