you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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