@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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