I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
