I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize