i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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