i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
