I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
