Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
