ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My liver just had a heart attack.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
