oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
